You stand in the line just to hit a new low

[Filter: Private]

If James were here, he'd be asking if I was sure I still wanted to do this with the rest of my life. Jeff hasn't said anything but I know he's thinking it. All the times we've caught almost nothing, the shipwreck, the business in the city...it isn't as carefree and fun as I always thought it'd be. And I'm away from home a lot.

But that's why I need to keep doing it! That's why I still want to! This is my path, something I decided for myself. Well, something I decided with Jeff, but still. It's a real dream, not just working at a bar trying to keep myself and my family from going under. I make more money than I ever did at the Scale, I have freedom out here, I feel like I'm doing something important with my life.

I want this, I really do. I just wish it could be a little easier sometimes.


[Filter: Public]

I think it might be time to replace Ronan. The other guys have to work extra hard without him, which isn't bad itself but when there's a lot to be done it can be hard dividing it between one less person.

[Filter: Private]

I always heard they were nothing but filth and this only proves it! Killing an innocent girl when her life was going so wonderfully...Dragons, what if we'd been in Chimer instead of here? They could have killed Maybeth just as easily, or any of us!

[Filter: Public]

I finally sent Ronan and some others into town for supplies. Maybeth claims she's feeling a bit better now, but until we're absolutely sure we're staying here.

[Filter: Private]

Some Festival. We're stuck on an island, I didn't even get my shopping done and Maybeth's still sick! I should've known not to trust Ronan too much, when he said he knew more about plants and herbs than anyone here, he meant among us.

At least the little holes in the boat are getting fixed up. Jeff and some of the guys have been at it for days...I wish we could get a healer over, but who's gonna sail all the way out to Mamura during this time of year when they've got better things to do?

[the writing's a bit messy]

Think we went a little too far out, it's getting kind of choppy. And there's so many ships it's gonna be hard to turn...damn, I probably should've stayed near that dock a little longer! I

[jagged line]

Ugh, Jeff, shut up! I know we're in trouble, but if you keep talking at me we'll never get out! Just let me


[inkblot]



shit

this doesn't look good

So we're leaving tomorrow! Maybeth sure is excited, she's even been trying to get to know the crew so they'll get along okay...anyone who had a problem with her being there seems okay with it now that they know they don't have a choice.

We're only gonna be away about two weeks, though, we want to get back early enough to leave time for Festival shopping. I can't believe it's only a month away now! I think I'm gonna start making my lists early, just so I'm not rushing and worrying at the last minute.

...oh.

Maybeth wants to come with us next time we go out to sea. I told her women don't normally go along on these trips and that the crew might hassle her for being there and she still wants to.

I got him a book and a little wildcat statue! Jeff's father, that is. He loved them, in fact the statue was something he'd been wanting for a while. Then Jeff blabbed that I'd been having a hard time and told his dad he needed to be more social, and if his dad hadn't laughed about it I probably would've floored Jeff for ratting me out. I'm just glad I did good with the presents!

YES! We're finally catching things again! I knew if we just took a break for a while things would go back to normal! you did not I had to [there's a line here caused by a brief struggle for the pen]

Sorry, Jeff felt like he had to take over my journal to claim it was his idea. ...okay fine maybe it was, but I agreed to it! That counts for something!

Well, Jeff wins. We're going home for a while...but not because I gave in! I'm tired too, and it's getting boring out here. Besides, we haven't seen Diane and the others for a while and I miss them. So yeah...we're heading back and we'll probably stay a few weeks.

We haven't caught anything in the last week! At first Jeff thought we should just try a different spot, since we'd been in the same one for a while, but still nothing! Not even a lousy mackerel!

...we knew this might happen, so I know I shouldn't complain, but it's still frustrating! Especially after we'd been doing so well!